It’s Not About You

This post was transferred over from my Dressing For Your Body Type Blog. It was originally posted on July 8, 2013.


I feel waves of relief wash over me Every time I tell myself that it isn’t about me I feel an insane amount of tension melt out of my body. It’s not about me. Thank goodness, right?

When people treat you a certain way, expect something from you or are just generally dicks…

it’s not about you.


Even if it is directed at you or they feel that you’ve done something…

it’s not about you.

If it’s something you have that they want…

happiness, maybe…

it’s not about you.

Not really.

It’s about what they’re lacking in their lives to make them focus so much of their energy on you.

Even if it is about you for them, it’s still not about you. You don’t have to accept responsibility for their problems or they way they feel!

And as her fierceness RuPaul says, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

Even if they have an extreme amount of hatred shooting in your direction, it’s still not about you.

Their hatred is theirs alone. And you have to wonder how someone can have that much hate. You didn’t cause it. It’s something in them that did it. Something lacking, something sad, something vicious. But it’s still theirs and not yours.

And it’s still not about you.

That guy that let the door slam in your face as you were walking into a store…

That woman at the bar that bumped in to you so hard that you spilled your drink and didn’t even glance back at you…

The dick that cut you off in traffic when you were in a hurry to get home and then you got stuck behind a red light while he went on ahead…

The emails, the comments, the haters, the chest beaters, the dogs with big barks, the simple bitches…

They are dealing with their own issues. Those issues are not yours. Don’t accept them as yours.


Remind yourself that it’s not about you.

Move on with your day.


3 thoughts on “It’s Not About You”

  1. This is so empowering,freeing and the world needs that.On the flip,I worry that the people who are wrong,those that hurt others,steal,lie,cheat and so ever,will read things like this and mistakenly think that when their victims rightfully react to their bs,that their victims are not entitled to be angry,hurt,disgusted or defensive.I fear too many people will take mantras like this and use it as an excuse for their behavior,to blame their actions or lack thereof on someone else, their prey. Its another cop-out to accountability and responsibility for the reckless pain every single person in the world thrusts upon others every single day. Yet its always someone elses fault,no?


    1. You have a great point. But those people are always going to be able to find excuses for their actions. There’s nothing that can be done about that.
      The best we can do is let go of their actions, and their excuses, and focus on doing the best we can do to find happiness and create joy in our lives as well as others’.



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