Promises, Promises

I’m going to tell you a story about a guy I used to date. After about two weeks of dating he was at my house all the time. I made a snide comment like “you’re here so much you might as well pay rent.”

And he actually took that as a sign to move in! So one night, while we were out I told him we needed to take a break. Things were moving too fast. I couldn’t breathe. He was driving on the highway at this time. He slammed on the breaks – again middle of the highway – and pulled a gun out from his back seat. He started crying as he held the gun up to his head saying things like “I should just kill myself then! I’m worthless. I should just shoot myself in the head!” Sobbing like a baby.

But I had known people like this before. So I said, “fine”. Or something along those lines. He started crying even more. He slowly put the gun back as he kept blubbering about how I would let him do that. I asked him if he had even thought about his daughter – he had a three year old little girl. He admitted that he hadn’t. I’d like to say that’s where that story ended. But it isn’t. There were two more years of this. I take responsibility for staying as long as I did. BUT I don’t take responsibility for the horrible things he did to me.

I don’t make light of real suicide attempts. And I certainly don’t make light of people emotionally abusing other people. Because that’s what that was – emotional abuse.
But when I saw this comic panel, it made me laugh. I don’t know why. And I knew I had to paint it. Not to make light of the situation, but to let other women know that they’re stronger than the men that emotionally abuse them. Those selfish people do that shit to bring you down, to make you feel bad. Don’t let them. They’re the ones with issues, not you. Don’t take responsibility for them.

That’s why I painted this.

It sold yesterday.

At first I was, I guess, sad, but then I realized that it doesn’t belong with me anymore. It’s not mine. It needs to go. And I need to let it go.



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