This self portrait expressed my feelings about the requirements of social interactions put on autistic people specifically. But I think a lot of people can relate to the frustrations I have with social expectations.
“Kicking and Masking” is part of a *very limited printing* self portrait collection. Each digital self-portrait is printed on 8″ by 10″ paper and is limited to 3-4 prints each, signed on the back.
“Consume me as I have been consumed by thoughts of you. Taste what you’ve done to me.”
I tend to be… obsessive… in relationships. For autistic people, other people can be a special interest. Allistic people, typically, cannot match the sort of passion and intensity that I bring to the table. And that’s okay, that’s healthy, but sometimes I crave the same sort of attention that I give out. And I’m sure that can be true for people who aren’t autistic, too. I think there’s a universal craving to be met with the same effort you give.
“The Softer Side” is part of a *very limited printing* self portrait collection. Each digital self-portrait is printed on 8″ by 10″ paper and is limited to 3-4 prints each, signed on the back.
This is obviously a fantasy self-portrait, but I think it’s one of the most accurate. Liz, forest creature, protector of cats, loves gardening and dancing to the beat of her own drum; catches her horns on everything, quite the klutz. The softest side of me, rarely seen in real life because of masking and social expectations. Fuck capitalism and social hierarchies.
Let’s all live in the woods and spend our days making art and music and trading food from our gardens.
“The Softer Side” is part of a *very limited printing* self portrait collection. Each digital self-portrait is printed on 8″ by 10″ paper and is limited to 3-4 prints each, signed on the back.
This is a universal issue, it doesn’t matter if you’re autistic or allistic, gay or straight, whatever. In every relationship—even just friendships—there comes a point when you have to ask yourself just how vulnerable you are willing to get with no guarantee that it’s going to be worth it.
“Treasure Map” is part of a *very limited printing* self portrait collection. Each digital self-portrait is printed on 8″ by 10″ paper and is limited to 3-4 prints each, signed on the back.
Here’s an older self portrait (that I don’t have to censor). It was one of the first self portraits I did when I got my iPad. I know it’s dorky, but I was feeling very cool in legal weed states.
Other than figuring out I’m autistic, pot is one of the best things I’ve done for my autistic brain. I don’t know how much it helps other AuDHD folks, so I’m hesitant to recommend, but it helps me with sensory overload and anxiety.
I don’t have many regrets in life. I don’t like regrets. But if I could go back in time I’d tell 8-year-old Liz she’s autistic and I’d tell16-year-old Liz that her teachers are lying and pot is just fine. 🤣 (I’d probably also pop in on 13-year-old Liz and tell her she might be a little gay. 😏)
“The Coolest Self-Portrait” is part of a *very limited printing* self portrait collection. Each digital self-portrait is printed on 8″ by 10″ paper and is limited to 3-4 prints each, signed on the back.
I keep going back and forth between “It’s That Time Again” and “It’s About That Time”. Either way, this selfie is about autistic masking, how it feels when that mask slips, and the vulnerability that follows. It’s also about the inevitability of a mask slipping with friends or even choosing to take off the mask, realizing it was a mistake, but being unable to put it back on.
“It’s That Time Again” is part of a *very limited printing* self portrait collection. Each digital self-portrait is printed on 8″ by 10″ paper and is limited to 3-4 prints each, signed on the back.
I have a very weird relationship with my body. I struggle with interoception. A lot of autistic people do. I don’t always know when I’m hungry or when I have to pee or whatever.
I also walk into stuff a lot. I have very poor spatial awareness. (Which I think is more adhd than ’tism, but someone might correct me on that because I’m not sure.) And those things can make me feel very disconnected to my body.
HOWEVER, when I am sad, or angry or even excited, I feel it in my entire being. It’s in my stomach and my bones and my flesh. When I am sad my whole body is sad and that is when I feel really connected to myself. So when I make art that is connected to an emotion it is usually a self-portrait of some kind, because I don’t know how to take that feeling and put it outside of myself.
“When You Hurt Me” is part of a *very limited printing* self portrait collection. Each digital self-portrait is printed on 8″ by 10″ paper and is limited to 3-4 prints each, signed on the back.
There’s a faint nose in there still, but I like it SO MUCH BETTER now. Also, I just took my Intro to Art PRACTICE Exam and scored 97%! It doesn’t tell me which questions are wrong though! So I don’t know what to study to get it to 100%. 😥
I really enjoyed taking Introduction to Art. I have learned so much, because I wasn’t classically trained when I started my career as an artist and there was a lot that I didn’t know. And Art is a special interest of mine, but there’s so much to know that I would often get overwhelmed and not know where to start. This class has given me a really firm foundation of knowledge and I’m so happy I took it.
Sometimes I am completely blind to social boundaries. I’m unsure of which things are okay to say to siblings versus friends versus parents versus acquaintances versus a married friend. Sometimes I share things that feel intimate or personal to others but don’t feel that way to me. Sometimes I can say something that I 100% believe in that moment… but later I don’t think the same way. Sometimes I don’t know that it seems like I’m flirting with someone until days later, years in some cases. Sometimes I am in a comfortable place physically and forget that I’m not around emotionally safe people.
It’s like if everything you could say in a given social situation was on a string and all of the strings were tangled together in a messy ball. You go to teach for the “right” string and you end up with something else altogether.
If you’re ever in a social situation and you hear someone say something and you think to yourself, “there’s no way she didn’t know that was inappropriate.” There is a way. It’s called being autistic.
❤ Liz
Liz Kelly Zook 